Breaking News: Aaron Rodgers and Danica Patrick Break-Up

Aaron Rodgers has it all. He won a Super Bowl, he is one of the highest paid quarterbacks in the NFL, and he has all the money and fame he could ever want. Unfortunately, he couldn’t discount double-check his way into Danica Patrick’s heart.

It has been a rough few months for Rodgers. The Packers got blown out in the NFC Championship against Rodgers’ childhood favorite team, the 49ers, the Packers then drafted his replacement, and now he breaks up with his longtime girlfriend. Hopefully he can rely heavily on his faith and family during this tough ti… nevermind.

As for Danica, this relationship ended up about as badly as her NASCAR career. Besides, this relationship had to be tough for her. She is an Illinois girl dating the Quarterback of the Packers. There had to be some mixed emotions there.

Now I’m going to go full tin foil hat conspiracy theorist here.

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones and Infowars 'on verge' of ...
Me right now

Ever since they began dating, Rodgers play on the field has been declining. What if Danica secretly works for the Bears and her goal was to sabotage Rodgers.

I mean it’s possible, although I think the Bears would be better off using their resources to get a kicker that can actually make a field goal.

Seriously though, it’s a bummer that it didn’t work out for them. However, I do think Danica seriously downgraded from her last boyfriend to Rodgers.

Ricky Stenhouse Jr. (@StenhouseJr) | Twitter
Danica’s former boyfriend Ricky Stenhouse Jr.

I mean come on. She went from someone who looks like a 1980s country music singer who drives a red Chevy pickup, to a dude who drinks kale smoothies and drives a Toyota Prius.

To each her own I guess.