Joe Kelly has been a pain in the Dodgers ass for years. He’s the guy who broke Hanley Ramirez’s ribs in the NLDS in 2013, dominated the Dodgers in the 2018 World Series, was hurt for most of last season after signing a three year $25 million contract, and gave up the go ahead Grand Slam to Howie Kendrick in the NLDS just over 9 months ago.
With three pitches tonight, everything bad Joe Kelly has done to the Dodgers has been forgiven.
First of all, going after the biggest douchebag on the Asterisks, Alex Bregman, was awesome.
Bregman had been talking smack all offseason, and the smugness and lack of remorse for his actions warranted more than 99 MPH behind his head.
By the way, all the people who were mad that Joe Kelly was “head hunting” obviously have never seen his window. That dude has no idea where the ball is going to go.
Then the icing on the cake tonight was when Kelly went after Carlos Correa.
Correa has always looked like he walks around with a big dump in his pants, so it was no surprise that he was the guy who talked the most shit all offseason and didn’t take any responsibility for his actions. He was also very hostile and defensive towards anyone who thought the Astericks were cheaters.
After Kelly struck him out, embarrassed him, and made him look like the fool he is, Correa tried to act like he was hard. GTFOH. This is the same dude that missed eight weeks last year because he got hurt from a massage.
This guy is softer than Charmin.
Plus Joe Kelly tried to fight the entire New York Yankees roster a couple of years ago. He’s crazy. Correa don’t want no smoke.
To top it all off, the reason the Trashtros were so upset was because Joe Kelly called Correa a mean name.
Poor babies.
So overnight, Joe Kelly has gone from journeyman reliever to the most beloved baseball player in America. Hopefully they use this picture of him when they build his statue outside of Dodger Stadium.
Legend.